Podcast Today - The Origin of My Blissful Becoming ....

Today's Spreaker Broadcast - - The Origin of My Blissful Becoming

I introduce you to where I came from and what experiences sparked my name "Bliss" as well as my first published book "The Chocolate Fast" and what that is all about.  How you too can find the Bliss of your own being...and why that is our natural state of being.

If you missed the show today - Listen to it now! and Share it!

I have been inspired by so many things...this is just one of them.  I love to share my story in hopes of inspiring yours!

Thank you & may you let Bliss be in your house today - as it is in mine!

Stasia

The Ever Furthered Pact of Surrender....

Well, I have veered off my regular "Sunday" post...yet another sign that life is continuing to morph in incalculable ways, ways in which I can no more see the future based on the past as I can return to the past by stepping ahead.  So, thus it is and here I am writing when the moment is sparked and inspiration speaks....ah, so shouldn't it be as this?

I am making a pact to surrender to life more than I have been able to thus far, up to this point.  This feels like a big statement for me having previously surrendered so much of myself at so many junctures...and yet, I am at the edge again, with nothing gripping...knowing that in order to "see" what is next, I must still surrender, even if it seems I have completed that task in excess...am I still willing to go that way again? ... Yes.

Relating... poses challenge after challenge....and though sometimes I feel I have positioned myself in a more difficult position than ever before...by knowing this, seeing the potentiality of this being true, I also, at the same time have a hunch that it means I am perched to heal more deeply, rise more brilliantly and overcome obstacles I have never known to stay so long and cut so raw.

Surely, if I could remember myself in that giant coffee table in the sky, where I planned my whole incarnation with some angelic guardian figures and we had mapped out where I might be at this particular point in my "mission"...surely, surely I would have selected a more glamorous route, would I not have? I mean, come on, I know myself, I would never have placed myself at this juncture unless I clearly understood that it was the best the BEST possible pivot point for that which is to come....just around the bend. Right ?! No question.

Okay, now that I have made such recollections perfectly understandable, I know that what seems like the place of stagnation and less than clear openings that something, Something is sprouting...something is growing, is lifting, is becoming, is opening here...something is preparing to make itself more fully known to me, I just know it, because I trust in Life, I trust in the One...of which I am a part, no doubt...and I know, that though it may seem strangely entangled and tripped up...I know there is a plan for me, of which I am about to discover the meaning of more fully.

So....one of the latest clues, just on the scene, is that of a sizable tip recently granted me through my willingness to share some rather adorable and sturdy children's books at a location with some other female friendlies, where I had not previously arrived and with whom I had never before rallied.  Following such adventure, the pick up of my other half, who spent the hours in my absence, in the presence of some rather spectacular vegetable gardens, picking and working from which an abundance of produce was procured.

Okay...life is gifting once again...this is only two days following the giant free spree spent with family over the weekend where what would usually cost something costed nothing and we drove home filled to the brim with all manner of treasures.  Something is definitely on its way in.  So - - the challenge to me is to continue to see the blessings, to give gratitude, to share the wealth, to pass it on, pay it forward and never be stingy...to know that where this all came from, there is always way more to come...than we could ever hold - - alone.

Time to keep surrendering...to remember the pact with myself...that this is just the beginning of something so much greater, right around the bend, don't doubt it....wait for it.....

Pssst.....pass it on.

Yep, I'm golden right where I am.

And so are you.

Keep pluggin.

Bliss is most definitely in the House.

~ Later. and Now.  ~ Stasia

Getting Personal on Love....

More and more I find myself on the most crazy roller coaster, wondering who bent all the poles crooked.? I used to feel more balanced and capable of surfing the craze with grace, but these days I just feel like someone pulled the wool over that whole concept called reason and rightness and I am wandering around in a strange land where I have to keep asking what I did to get myself here?

It is so paradoxical, really. For, on the one hand I feel more aware than ever before. I am more conscious of what I love, what my passion is, where my goals are, and feel no qualms about moving in the direction thereof.  AND at the same time, I feel some invisible block, a force, a karmic retribution of sorts, flying into the face of my plans repeatedly trying to take any breath of success away.  Why is this?

Your guess is as good as mine, really. I am struggling with this one, totally.

The only thing that makes any kind of sense to me is that I am stuck in the whirlwind called "my partner has to ground himself in a chosen direction or else"...and this is having serious implications on my ability to move forward.

First, let me start by saying that the man I am currently partnered with is one of the most incredible beings I have ever encountered. He truly is. I have no doubt he is a Lord somewhere on another planet, in another galaxy and is a bit confused by his incarnation here, but I'm not.  I see the enormous flood of frequency that man is able to channel and the force of change he is for all that stands around him.  I am in awe of his ability to stand in the middle of the hourglass and hold all the sands from falling further in any direction while he stares the eternal moment dead in the face...unwavering.

He is a loving father, a kind friend, a master of non-attachment, a yogi, a teacher, he is patient, he is truthful, he loves God, so much I am not even sure he knows how to interpret the depth of emotions to which he reaches. He wants nothing more than to ascend off the cycle of life and death and yet holds to the humility that says he isn't sure if that is possible.  In all the time I have known him I have seen him open his heart up and pour out love where previously there were no words or abilities.  I have watched him friend my 7 year old, converse with strangers, love my parents, rub my back when I'm crying and heard him pray his guts out for the answers he so desperately desires.

Here is the clincher...We are heading through a major life-transformation together...he is facing the greatest force of his life thus far, as his soul seeks to find an identity while he struggles not to have one.  Life is asking him to choose a path and he doesn't know which path to take. Love asks him to be a father while courage challenges him to know the higher reality where we are all parents and children to each other.  A divine dichotomy is doing its best to tear an unmendable rip through our experiences and I am doing my best not to take confusion personally.

Wow. It has to be my greatest challenge to be doing this thing together. I know I asked for someone who didn't fall all over me, and worship the ground I walk on , but sometimes it would be nice...just a little.

It's funny, cause this all feels so private, and yet I know that I am not alone in this world or in these feelings...I know that to you, the reader, many of my struggles you share.

In this I find comfort and also my need to draw on courage.

Isn't it easier to live the silent, private life and keep our struggles to ourselves, all the while allowing others to believe that everything is peachy and then be stunned when they find out all is not?  Well...I guess all is not for many of us...though many of us are working towards it being so.  Hoping, praying, committing to the possibilities as if there was no other way out.

What if there was only  me...and the other one I see is just another part of me...?  Can I have a problem with the way myself is?  Can I sit in the room with me and be irritated and let that be okay...let it be a practice in detachment, in love, in compassion?

Yes.  That is truly how I see it to be....

The truer and deeper question is, can I be with a man who loves me, but is not head-over-heels in love with me?  And should that be the qualifier for a great partnership?  Certainly not...AND...there is something to be said for romance.  ... Okay, 2 years under the belt, nearly...should romance have died? Well...perhaps it barely made an appearance already, but I still have hope.  Maybe we are doing this whole thing backwards and that part comes at the end.?!

Maybe.

I believe so many things opposite to the way they manifest....why not that?

The question I leave this writing with is HOW...can I...best support the man I love in his times of imbalance, in his times of low, less than and powerlessness, when he feels like he dislikes where he is and what he is doing, without...WITHOUT taking any of it personally.?

Today I tried to listen.  But I couldn't only do that.  Sometimes I feel if I do not say it, we will replay it. You know?!

Am I blessed to ride this wave of "figuring it out"with him until he truly does?...is there nothing I can do to facilitate it more speedily?  And don't get me wrong, I know I have just as many things to figure out as he does...we are just working from two sides of the same stick....somethings are known to us both...other things we are in the process of sharing insights...let the process go swiftly and with love in our hearts.

If I give everything I have and my whole heart, is it enough?  What if the other is unwilling to accept my gift? What if they accept but don't know how to handle it?  What if they are learning to handle it, do I have the patience to see them through? Should I have it?

Once upon a time I met a man who looked like my son.  He brought me into the challenge of presence the way only I had the ability to do for others. He challenged me, he challenged me some more and he pushed me beyond my previous boundaries to find new ones and to declare my self.  Later,...after spending countless hours with my son and with me...his life gave me another life...we had our own child together.

With  my two boys I feel very blessed and at the same time very overwhelmed, at times, with mothering.  This man is the missing piece, the love in my heart, the reflection in my eyes.  I see him as no other and I care for him and his happiness deeply.  I ask spirit, friends, the universe to bless us...to help us to move out of our stuckness by inspiring us into actions and situations which can help us to thrive and live our own life together as a family with options.  I ask for a home in which to live with my little family and grow and laugh and play and be.  Our own home.a homebase my kids can feel safe in.

I ask for fulfilling work which my partner can enjoy and abundant blessings for doing that work.


And as the day only just turns into Sunday for me here in the desertous state of Utah, I reach into my heart and find gratitude for the many challenges and opportunities to raise myself up, to be a better person and to love and commit more deeply to anything than perhaps I have ever allowed myself to do.

Om Shanti

God is Love,

May you find Bliss in your House...as I find it in mine, through laughter and pain.

Your sister,
Stasia

The Serious Next

Today marks a time when there feels to be a "serious next" in the works...at least there had better be.  I mean, really, seriously, in all seriousness and comedy Universe...what is Next???

I know I am not alone in this being a particularly trying time. There are many others who are moving through profound change, struggle, road-block after seeming road-block to no relief and I have to ask - really....what is the Serious Next?

Along with my super-amazing imagining editor, Rev. Noel McInnis, we are almost finished with the edits for our book "Surfing the Paradigm Shift" due to come out hopefully by October of this year...and I have to say that my life must be awaiting its release or something before things gracefully resolve, evolve and unclog to the next level.  and I wonder about that for you too.

You see....we ARE in the midst of a great Paradigm Shift.  And it is becoming more and more apparent to me that we can no longer continue in the old ways....we cannot.  And I am beginning to think that if we try to, we will be sabotaged by our own inner wisdom that can see with the Celestial eye - that which we cannot yet, in the physical.

 We are not allowed to move ahead as if things were to continue in an old pattern of repetition, compartmentalization and limitations and YET.....we still don't know how to do it in the new way. So what's up?!

Is a Crisis on its way?

What does it take to make this shift? To move from the "old" way into to the "mold-less" way?  Into the life that is begging our discovery of it while still turning the pages of yesterdays teachings to try and navigate a road never traveled...while using a map that no longer applies.  Hmmmmmm?

I swear, every time I start down a path to a new goal to a new idea, and go through all the motions, take the steps, make the mental adjustments, get excited, do the work....every time as of late....that idea, that goal - becomes a no - go.  And I can't figure out why.

I watch my Facebook feed and notice that others are experiencing their own struggles of loved ones passing, having to move from their homes for lack of finances, broken relationships, lost jobs, illnesses, etc. and I see that we are in a great shift. . . that appears to me like a Crisis of great magnitude.

Now....it is true that it is not large enough (YET) to REQUIRE us to bind together, to share food, water, shelter as if we were in a major disaster and we had no other choice....but, the question is --- ARE WE GOING TO WAIT UNTIL IT GETS THAT BAD TO COME TOGETHER?

Sure some of us are "okay"....yet many more than I think are willing to admit it are NOT...are barely holding on, are JUST making it...and need another way to manifest RIGHT AWAY.  I know I do.

So what is the answer?

What is the Answer?

What if we came together NOW as if a crisis WERE happening and treated each other with the same kind of love, mutual offering, care and support that we would if the world were falling apart all around us?  Because for many of us, it feels this way on the inside.  Are we all still too proud to admit that we can't do it alone any more? That we really do need one another for this to work?

I once read of a study of 5 families who entered into an experiment for 2-3 years.  They all pooled their money and resources, food, cars, etc. for the entire time, except one of the families who shared all, but kept their finances separate.  At the end of the 3 years,  the families (save the one) had enough wealth for them each to buy their own homes....and the family that kept their money separate...they were further in debt than before.  This comes to my mind nearly every day.
The realization with this story is TRUTH and that is - - - that TOGETHER we all have more than enough for all of our needs and wants...but SEPARATE ...we remain divided in our own homes, lacking what we all need for a thriving existence.  We don't have enough to care for ourselves and so we think we could not help others,...but COMBINED we are powerful beyond measure.

SO.......

What am I saying?

I am not sure except I KNOW this principle to be true.  The Mormons, who I grew up indoctrinated by, call this the Law of Consecration.... That is - everyone (at some destined time) will bring all their resources together and share...and therefore be wholly provided for.  I think this time is NOW.


Some of us are good at cooking,

gardening, preparing food, sewing, cleaning, washing, building, Some of us are not.


Some of us are good at child-rearing, some at mechanics, some at computers, some at making money.

The point is...we all have gifts. We all have talents.  Some of us create beautiful works of art and others of us play sweet music.  Should all of our gifts be expected to bring in cash...and enough cash to sustain us - while some folks are obviously GOOD at and ENJOY making money?

  Some of us are ministers at heart, and yet have no congregation, only the world.  Some of us cook beautiful meals, but have no restaurant, only our loved ones.  Some of us tell amazing stories, poems, write plays, philosophize the way we will all continue forward harmoniously.  Some of us are visionaries, others are more practical and in the now.

We Need EVERY ONE of us....ALL of us are valuable.  Just because some of us do not make $$$$$$ doing what we do - does not mean those same people should live with less than those who do....but cannot perform other miraculous artistic endeavors.  Catch my drift?

The time has truly come, I do believe, for ALL of us to be valued for the BEINGS we ARE...and not for the money we make.  Our society praises the almighty dollar and does not reward those of us who do not have it.
What is the answer?

Well....it's funny cause those of us without it are the first to say we all need to come together and share what we have....and does that make us seem ungrateful or lazy? ! It shouldn't.  I would love to cook for people, to share freely the talents I have, to help with the children, to serve....to do the things I suppose SOME get paid for...but I am not.  I would not feel greedy to share what I can do.  Would you?

What is the next step?

I am not sure.  This is my rant.  This is my awareness.

I am seeing the most beautiful, talented, Spiritual beings - - - SUFFER - - for lack of $$$$ and it is WRONG.

In the past we'd all say "buck up and get a job".....but I honestly cannot see the total value in that now, as we are all moving into a reality where other things are taking precedence....where other core values are important and NEEDED.

Who will make the move.?  Who will be the first to OFFER it up....? To Offer the land, the giant HOME...the possibilities for the others to SHARE within?

Who will NOT FEAR greed, who will not fear sharing? Communing? Becoming as ONE people?

WHO?

I am searching my heart for how to move forward with this knowing.  For what I AM to do now?

Maybe you have an idea.   Share it.

Please.

Let us be poor - no more, hungry - no more, scared   -no more.

 Let the riches of the Earth feed ALL people, shelter ALL people and allow ALL people to shine in the gifts they were born with.

Come my Human Family.  Let's Grow Together.   GOD is GOOD..... Now it is TIME.  . .

 . . for the Serious Next.

Bliss.....let it be in the hearts and House of ALL.

Stasia

The Yoga of Mothering

Standing outside a Bikram studio, peering through the glass with my two small children as we watched their dad practice yoga today, I had mixed feelings.  Part of me wanted so badly to be in that room, sweating, stretching, crammed in the midst of the crowd in my tiny shorts practicing.  The other part of me, perhaps a now larger part, knew my greatest practice these days was not on the mat at all, but there in the lobby with my children.

Having practiced and taught yoga for much of the past 14 years, and many of those years spent in a Bikram room cranked to 108 degrees, I am familiar with the sensation of yoga on the mat.  I know how my body responds now, quickly, to the call which asks me to twist, forward fold or inhale deeply, when there - perched solitary on the yoga mat in my skin-tight gear.  It is always as if no time has passed, muscles-memory kicks in, and I can do that triangle pose like it was only yesterday I last set my feet in position and leaned in, windmilling my arms.  Yes, I am good at practicing yoga on the mat. Yoga off the mat is something entirely different and incredibly more challenging than any class I have ever attended or personally taught.

Feet in the middle of a 2 x 6 rubber roll-out I can predict how far I can be pushed, how flexible I am, where my boundaries are...standing in the lobby, peering through the glass at other yogis while my 9 month old stays propped on my hip to prevent him from crawling in the garbage outside the front, opened doors while reminding my 7 year old to keep it down...it's uncertain when my flexible nature will feel torn, bent out of shape or pressed a little too far.

The yoga of mothering is a toughy.  Nobody said it would be easy...and nobody was right.  Reaching for one distraction after another, the pen off the desk, my cup that held water, a printed cardboard schedule, his yummy snacks, my hairband...all of these things provide just a momentary preoccupation for the wee one.  He is busy, curious, constantly wondering at the sound of his own voice.  I stepped into my flexible pants of patience, wisdom, kindness and understanding as I follow him to the edge of his exploration.  The seven year old chases us out the door with his latest antics on "if life made sense" repeated over and over...I took out the dharma of listening, silence, spinal twists and laughter to make it through that pose...down the sidewalk and back again to the yoga lobby where we could see their dad through the glass in balancing stick.  I felt his pain.

Would I rather be there or here?  Which one takes more courage these day? Which one makes me sweat the most and reach in for strength....I guess today that answer is the yoga of mothering...and so I take another breath and walk with my kids outside again...peering into the parking lot wondering how we have found ourselves there in this surroundings...why didn't I stay at home with the kids and let dad come alone? ... the answer was clear as I turned back to the window...he smiles at us, just seeing us there...he looks over again and again in between sips of water and postures.  That is all the payment I need.  That is my reward. He loved seeing us there. He was the yogi with his family in the window. . . he was proud and happy...and I breathed into it, sitting down into cross-legged position to find another activity for the little ones.

As the class ended and I could see my partner covered with sweat and a broad smile of contentment, I tuned inward to the workout my back had received toting the 9 month around the walkway and lobby for the past 90 minutes.  I checked in with my heart, buttocks and lower legs...yep, all feeling pretty worked...could I ever use a shivasana!

To end the evening, I got to move into gratitude and do my best to find all the blissful gifts of our combined yoga practice - his on the mat and mine, off.

The littlest one goes down after a busy night in the studio and outside...I can still hear his unready-to-settle cries in the other room while I write...but, mom is exhausted and it's okay for him to work his lungs out a bit while I cool down.  Non-attachment.  Seeing the sun set over the horizon I catch a little trataka before finishing my blog.  Yes, the yoga of mothering is still my greatest challenge.  100 degrees in a Bikram studio is a piece of cake compared to parenting full time, no doubt.

Tonight, I let my breath deepen before the 7 year old returns from an evening scooter ride with dad, who is now feeling more balanced from his practice....it will soon be my turn for the bedtime routine. Withdrawing my senses - pratyahara - I find the still place within from which all energy is drawn and renewal can happen. Checking in I notice my back could use a few more conscious breaths and my eyes, a brief rest from the computer screen,... I will check back in with a candle flame tonight...a little more trataka for the eyes and mind could only make me feel more sublime.

I may not have the same studio practice I had for so many years....but I'm still a yogi...and perhaps more of a master than ever before, though I'm still practicing.  It may take me some years to get this right.  Good thing it's a journey.

To all you moms and dads out there...thank your kids tonight for keeping you fit...and taking your practice to the next level.  They are our greatest yoga teachers.

Namaste ya'll

May Bliss be in your house tonight as it is finding it's way into mine -

Love,
Stasia

Sacred Sexuality and Divine Will ~

If you missed the Spreaker broadcast today, you can visit this link and hear it anytime.  The topic is a hot one for me, something close to my heart as I believe it is a most misunderstood and suppressed issue.  What about our sexuality? and creating the life we desire? ... are we meant to be able to handle this energy and use it for things beyond baby-making?  What are the secrets and where do we go to find out more?  All of this and more is explored in today's show.

Join me every Thursday at 11am Pacific Time for a half-hour broadcast on a variety of Spiritually-minded, expansive topics that push us to the edge of consciousness and ask us to find our Bliss...in our individual and collective house(s) NOW.

Stasia

Perspective ~ Songs, Travel and Breathing...

It's amazing how loud the breath can be...or how quiet...and how deep dreams can get when you haven't visited the dreamscape for so many consecutive hours in months. Literally.

Times have changed around here.  With the little one pushing 9 months I decided to count how many times I was waking up with him in the night, because it felt like a lot. Yep. Seven times. 7!!!!
He's almost 9 months and I was still averaging more than an every two hour wake up with him to feed.  I seem to remember at 4 months he was only waking up once during the night...what happened?

He has become more aware, and with more awareness came more attunement to sounds and with that - sleeping in the same room as mom meant waking every time I so much as wrinkled a cover...at least that's what the averages say.  So, last night - into another room with you!  Placing the growing toddler down the hall into his own room equated to more sleep for everyone.  One wake up call at 3 am and not again until morning.  Wow.  Is my breathing really that loud?

As I start this day with new eyes I am starting to see the growth patterns everywhere and how they work together to create the pattern I find myself within.  Choices equal texture -- experiences - -> equal feelings--> equal thoughts--> equal more choices... By choosing to create a new choice I am affecting everything in my world. Everything.

Today, as I sit by the open window and hear the water rushing down the lovely falls outside the dining window I am contemplating how loud things can be...and how quiet.  My son, for example, 7 years old and likes to take a particularly long time in the bathroom.  When he does said activity he sings to himself...it is cute.  However, when little brother was sleeping in the wall-sharing room, these sing-songs from the porcelain seat seemed extremely loud.  Now, with the nap space moved...again his songs are sweet as I listen from the other side of the wall. Hmmm.




It's all about perspective, isn't it?

This week I happened upon a really cool children's book company offering great educational and entertaining quality children's books.  It's one of those things where you throw a home party and everyone gets together, snacks a little, looks at products together and buys stuff if they want.  Sounds like a win for everyone. Fun too. I love a good gathering.  So, since I am staying with mom for a bit, decided to get a hand organizing such an event by tapping into her network of friends and church acquaintances in the area.  Mormons all know each other.

This was a great experience for me, having been out of the "religious loop" for sometime, walking around hand-delivering invitations really brought me into a perspective I appreciated viewing.

 I had say, 50 invitations all located in the immediate neighborhood (Utah is largely populated with Mormons).  It was interesting to note that in the neighborhood here, though there are many who attend church with my mother, there are also, equally as many homes who are not named religious preference.  So, I found myself skipping all these house, seeing children's bikes and sandboxes, basketball hoops and hoola hoops.

 I kept feeling like I was being exclusive only inviting the people on my list, which I was super grateful to have in the first place.  But it changed my perspective.  Now...I somehow had a key into the neighborhood...I knew some of the people...but who were all these other people? Many of them had children too...I didn't want to leave them out.

I started having conversations with everyone I saw, knocking on doors and running back to the house to print up more invitations.  Now the numbers are exceeding 75...gee, I am sure not everyone will be able to come ... but this is getting fun.  I have longed for this opportunity to "break the neighbor barrier"...that unseen strange veil that keeps neighbors from meeting one another beyond the surface hello as you walk the block...here was my conversation piece.  I need more of these.

Somehow, the perspective changes when you have something to share, something to talk about, some reason to start a conversation.  You see, these people, you people, all of us people...we are all family... that's how I truly feel.  We are all One.  But it is often hard to feel that way, to know it and live it when we keep ourselves behind closed doors.

 Then it becomes "the noisy neighbor honking early in the morning" or "the inconsiderate guy shooting off fireworks at midnight" or "the house who is watering their lawn while it's raining"...and so on.  But as we get to know each other, our perspectives change, we develop empathy, a story begins to be told that excuses one another's short-comings and looks for the positive.

With this new vision, the things that were before loud and maybe obnoxious, become quieter, and the previously unknown "quiet" aspects...well, they become easier to hear.  Life is all about perspective. Sometimes we just need to move down the hall to notice it...take a break from each other or meet a neighbor.

Speaking of breaks...my partner and I were reunited this past week after 4 months of being apart.  It has been difficult.  But nothing was sweeter than our reunion and the words spoken, the gazes exchanged and the new commitments forged.  All those things which previously rubbed us the wrong way about each other...well, they seemed to have vanished.  Gratitude replaced miscommunication and adoration replaced unfulfilled needs. He is off again to take the next steps in our family's unfolding adventure...just a bit ahead of the rest of us...and I am so appreciative.  What an amazing thing perspective is...and sometimes we don't get it without time.

So, my insight for the day...if you don't like what's happening in the now moment, move it down the hall ...and wait.... Or maybe knock on the door of someone new.

                             Always, with new perspective comes a new way of seeing.

Oh, yeah. and now that new way of seeing has afforded me new computer glasses....guess my entire world view is changing.  What the eyes don't see....

May you find your house - inside and out - filled to over flowing with Bliss today.

Bliss in the house ~ this is Stasia ~