Sometimes it is easier to write when things are either really going well or just the opposite. Correction...it is ALWAYS easier (at least for me) to conjure up a stream of thought when in the swing of the pendulum, one way or the other.
When in the middle...in harmony, in balance and equilibrium, so much peace is found that one often forgets to write it down...I do...I forget. Perhaps it's best to just enjoy the peace, enjoy the moment, as so many poets and sages have recommended...and yet several weeks have passed since sharing my space, since writing the words down, that I feel compelled and even inspired by the middle - - to communicate what is in my heart and current screen, unfolding.
I find myself in a land, familiar to my past knowing, known to my family, and yet foreign to me now. I sit in wondering at how I am still here, scanning the horizon for signs of movement elsewhere and yet, still, the moment says - stay.
I can only assume I have clearing yet to do, that there are bonds yet to form, to heal, love yet to expand in this place, else I would not find myself here....continually now. As I think back to the land of green, the home of my heart and the place where I find solace in a family of souls - I know that it is still there that I find comfort and singing...and so, at the request of my own spirit, no doubt, I have brought myself out of the land of my heart into a place where discomforts arise daily and feelings that resemble loneliness rise up in me for lack of a multitude of those who would deeply understand me and say yes to the words flowing out of me in any direction.
Here, I am among strangers, in face and in heart. Yes, we are all One - for sure we are - and so I am grateful for an opportunity to see another side of the multi-faceted reality of which I am a part and only one perspective of. I have, for so long, spent life with those who share the same side of the gem...and here I sit on the opposite face and I wonder how it is I am to be with them. ? ?
"In love!!" - - my heart cries. "In unity!!" --my mind says. To break the bonds of separation and find that here too there is only ONE heart beating....only One LIFE.
This is the truth that wells up inside of me at the asking of these questions. Still, it is a challenge to sit inside a largely dogmatic bubble, one that creeps in at me from every side, and hold my knowing of the One. Sometimes I feel anger, sadness, resentment...and yet, these are slowly burning away to the layer where I know peace again...to where I find the calm to stare into the storms and seemingly opposing views and see the sameness residing there. For it is everywhere if we can but see it.
It is always easier to be with those who are of "like-mind" - yes. And ultimately, perhaps that is still where I so long to be, to raise my kids and spend my days, years, life. But if I can gracefully sit between thoughts I do not resonate with and smile. If I can hold hands with what any might call disagreement....isn't this the truest test of unity? For it is easy to be with those like us...and comfortable. And nice. But, when faced with the task of loving the least of these...the bigness inside must be found....and must be found immediately before the chance is lost to unite the differences through love.
So here I sit, stand, dance, stretch, eat - - in the Middle..... in more ways than one.
I am not too "high" today...I am not "low"....in reality, I think neither truly exists...only painted tiles of experience that would lead us to believe so. Instead, I sit in the calm. . . and in the calm, I realize I sit in the middle of worlds all around me... I sit next to those whom I do not know and do not seem to agree with, and those I know, yet find challenge with, I sit next to loved ones in spaces we jointly feel discomfort in with only each other in which to know retreat...can I find love here too? Can I find a way to unite us all? That is my challenge today.
Wherever you are today, whether with those with whom you share vision, beliefs and perspective, or not...be that on the grand scale - or simply in your movings around this day....to the store, the car wash, the bank...and what-not...let it be in our consciousness to merge with those we seem most distant from....in the heart - to recognize that we are One - all of us. For I truly believe that if and when we can do this, when I can, that this world will shatter of its separation in a melding that brings all nations together...miraculously....and we will know on a grand scale, the love we know in our hearts now - simply at the prospect of it.
I love you - - and thank you for walking the middle line with me today.
In peace and harmony,