Monday, March 11, 2013

'Raising a Child -(up)' - - to age 5 - - and beyond

Awakening from the 'dream' state into this state of reality...seeming more and more like a dream that I am awake in - - as I can still sense the fluidity of the realm in the night scape...waking to the presence of a small person who is with whom I am moving in the direction of a new arrangement as far as our interaction, what comes out of his mouth and how I get 'treated'.  This is a challenge, one I must 'stay on top of' and not lose my way back down the mountainous terrain of yesterday when I just let the trail be walked, and I followed, to see what was next...and yet that's how parenting has always been since day one...forgot to get off the 'pregnancy-birthing-baby' train, I guess...cause when your growing a just happens, and you don't have 'control' over that...and when you are birthing a just 'happens' and you don't have control over when or how that's gonna go...only your response to it...only your level of acceptance, possible techniques for relaxation, adaptation, etc.  And when you have a baby crying, sleeping, pooping, doing its really don't have control over it - - it just IS what it is...and you do what you can do to keep up with the rhythm nature is pumping at you...and it isn't that the baby is in control, cause they aren't in control of themselves...its all new to them and they are at the mercy of this world and their bellies, and their pooping and all they can do to make a contribution is to cry - - trying to get something out of the mouth that elicits some kind of a response, and it does and someone comes, and sometimes comforts them from the craziness of it all...
And then the kid gets bigger, and more information begins to compute, and the parent is just doing their best to follow the path they are taking and make sure that kid finds the trail ...and not the road....finds the bite of food on their spoon, and not the stairs, ...finds the toy and not the nail...
And then the words start... and worlds between the two of you begin to unfold as you start to get to know the being inside that flesh...and its awesome, cause what once was silent, and only yelps and cries is now becoming words and interests and information feedback to all these years you have spent on their behalf as a servant of one new beings evolution...and so communication starts...and at first you are in awe, and tickled by ever little thing they can say - and you are over joyed they can say anything at all...and you listen contently and you open your heart and you open your eyes - - and you remember how not so very long ago this being was nothing...and then a lump in your belly, and then a squirm in your gut and then pushing out of you and then a crying thing in the night and then...something something...and now this.  It's a miracle they can learn language...having come from within you...and now you can clearly see their identity starting to develop...and they are taking on more and more...and it's time for you to let go, a little more, a little more....yet it's at unclear intervals and its happening more slowly, more quickly, and not at the pace of 'anyone else's kid' and there is no guidebook - except the one writing itself deep inside your hopeful intuition.  Hopeful, that you are tuned in correctly (with all the lack of sleep and vested interested) and hopeful that this child starts engaging life in the way that engenders personal empowerment.  You are hopeful that they find their way in this world in a way that is their own, and yet somehow 'keeps up' with their age-group development..knowing they are their own person developing at their own pace, and yet knowing that life can be cruel to one who develops too differently or too much more slowly than others of the same kind.
Now they are 5 years age - they say...and they are creative, deeply creative builders, constructors, crafty and can see that they use language unlike other kids...and with that know-how comes manipulation...they know how to 'get you to do what they want'...and since you have been used to 'following them around' and watching their every move, now they want you to, and feign crying when you don't...and now you have to assert your personal space, your personal freedom from this game, your 'right to have quiet', your place as the 'grown-up' as you haven't ever before - - not even before they came...there was no need, not in this way.  No one has ever before vied for your attention this way, no one has ever before demanded you in this way, no one has ever before treated you as if your only purpose was for their existence...and that you must not have a life of your own....and though you never had to think of life this way you somehow must - for the survival of you - for the development of 'them' for the sanity of all.  And so the game changes, and disciplines must arise onto the screen of your collective play...for those who will enter into the game with you now, whether as partners, friends, family or temporary stays - they will all be affected by the level at which these disciplines are effective.  Close relationships will be most affected, as your very Self will be challenged to show...your ability to be strong, yet compassionate, helpful, yet stern, loving yet must stick to your word and now allow your ear to be bent too far in the direction of their must sense immediately -through the fog of personal memories and joyful communions with this being - twisted intentions and attempts to bind you, keep you and have you bend to their will...and though you are wanting to be a vulnerable instrument of the divine for the purposes of love and compassion to this being now in are also must be a warrior of truth, righteousness in action, strength and inner resolve - to stand strong in the face of all this innocent manipulation.  For innocent it is...they only have the knowledge of what has been before...the insights gained by them in their infancy, that IN the crying and the clinging they found embrace, love and assistance....they must learn a new reality now that is very that feels to them like being shut out in the cold and being told just the opposite of what imput they have received up to this point...they must learn that if they do it them self - - then there is praise, if they find it within them self to succeed, to find the courage, to do it without being repeatedly told, to pick it up, to put it down, to brush it, to dress them self to do all of these things that have been being done for them...if they can do these things...then the world will open up so much more magic to them. . . If they can learn that the adults' role in their lives is no more to 'do everything for them', but to instead observe that they are ready to learn more. . .and offer those experiences to them. . .as they are ready - - then the world becomes a giant education station and the 'grown-up' simply the door-openers to new knowledge which can be found.
And so, I soon leave this screen of insight and transverse the plains of child-rearing...more like child-fronting...for they become the forefront of the daily priorities...and hopefully we are not leading them to the 'rear' but to the head of the game...where they may thrive and become the highest versions of themselves.  May we, the parents, guardians, friends, relations, add-ons, and all those associated with the 'child-raising' process, become finely attuned to the realness of what is going on.  May we SEE with eyes beyond our physical, the person trying to burst out from their small suit of skin...may we HEAR what is really being said, through the tears, whines and demands, and respond to THAT request first.  May we feel with our heart and love fully one another - - not in a 'special' way, but in the way that each and everyone of us deserves to be loved. . . as the beautiful expression of the ONE that we are.  Let me go forward now and not forget, but REmemeber -- myself in the club of the ONE.
Grateful am I for this course in which I am enrolled, let it be for my spiritual betterment and the evolution of my being and ALL.  This day and always.  AUMen

No comments:

Post a Comment