We're flailing, we're flailing...wondering where this whole thing is going, just hoping someone will help us out.
Then...we're rockin it, rocking up where we can see a little bit, and we think we know what's going on, feeling on top of the world...and then we -- crash -- nose first, into the floor.
We don't give up...we get up again...we have to - there isn't another choice...and no one can crawl for you ..you pretty much have to do it until you "get it"...no getting around it.
Even when we're close...putting one hand forward say, scootchin' those back knees forward, leaning toward something really cool we want ...sometimes, no.... pretty much every one of the first dozen or more times we reach for it- nose plant. It hurts, we cry...we try again.
Guess what. Mom and Dad think it's cute when we try...when we reach...they know we'll do it someday...and until then, it's pure entertainment. Sure, "the universe around us" notices when we have been working on the same task with the same "environment" of toys for a while...and they/it decides to mix it up for us...give us a new scene...in which to try out our same skills...keep trying to crawl....how about on this blanket? this one? how about outside? the bathroom floor? the bed? ....did you get it yet? Do different textures help?
This is in no way UNLIKE us working on any part of our next evolutionary leap...it does not usually come without some struggle and some nose plants...we get to try in different contexts, the same moves...and guess what - no matter how they feel...none of them are wrong...they all are giving us the opportunity to try and try again until we "get it"...isn't that cool?
As a parent...mortal guardian or infinite presence...we often see our "child" is heading for trouble...sometimes we divert them...other times, we let them "figure it out"...it's not super kind to let them "get it in the face" every time...but it seems they'll (we'll) never learn if we keep moving all the treacherous objects for them...life is full of doozies...but not cause those things are "bad" per say...we just haven't learned yet how to work with a pot of flowers when we're babies...and we may not have learned how to work with a job change, new partner or financial bottleneck as an adult...
We are not unlike babies learning to crawl...we are just "bigger babies" learning how to evolve into our next phase of growth too...our next opportunity for change awaits us. It promises to be full of success...following a bout of "failed" attempts. That's the fun of it.
So, when we see the floor coming rapidly toward us with no way to stop it, we might remember that little person learning to crawl...pick ourselves up and laugh a bit. It's no big deal...we were made for this!
All of this from watching my 6 month old get more and more mobile...it excites him, frustrates him, and pushes him to be stronger, more determined and to - yes- sometimes give up, cry, and want to be held. Bless his heart for not pushing himself all at once to accomplish the whole task of....what? crawling, walking...talking, oh, yeah - it never ends....it never ends for us too. Just take it one hand, foot, step at a time. I love being reminded that it's okay to just curl up on the lap of "the mother" sometimes....and cry.
As the "years pass" and I think I should have had this thing figured out by now...I watch the little teachers around me and remember - I'm just out of diapers myself in many ways, it's okay to be learning how to walk in the new me I have found. No shame in taking our time. No problem when we fail. It's about the destination, and it wasn't a failure...
Sometimes I wonder if these little mirrors we make came along to show us love, show us how we totally weren't getting it before, or just to give us a good laugh. I'm sure it's all of this and more.
Tonight, I am happy to be taking a moment while the littlest naps and the biggest builds brilliant LEGO structures...to remember, when I take a nose plant I'm on the right track.
And so are you.
Blissings --- from this house to yours!
Stasia
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